Your Weakness if Your Strength!

I was talking to a friend a while back and the subject of weakness came up. My friend was frustrated with an aspect of his personality that he felt was a weakness. At one point in the discussion my friend said “I hate that weakness and just want it to go away” at which point I chuckled. It wasn’t that I didn’t sympathize with my friend, but what my friend saw as one of his weaknesses I saw as one his biggest strengths. Many times the things that we consider our own weakness are really an integral part of the whole fabric of who we are. Do you look at your weaknesses as strengths? Here are some things to consider:

1) Embrace yourself – The first thing to consider when seeing your weakness as strength is to embrace yourself. You are a whole person with things that are great and things that need work. You will never be perfect, so stop trying. Embracing who you are…ALL of who you are…is a great first step to embracing that your weaknesses are just as important as your strengths.

 

2) Be Honest – We all have things we need to work on. If you don’t believe me ask my wife who would be happy to give you a list of the things I could improve on. By being honest with yourself about who you are you can then make a plan to change the things that you feel need to be changed.

 

 

3) Make a list – Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Look at that list closely and ponder the fact that each aspect of your strengths and weaknesses has an upside and a downside. For instance one of your strengths may be you’re a hard worker. That is an upside. The downside may be that working so hard takes away time from your family. You may list being too emotional as a weakness. That may be true but the upside may be that you have the wonderful gift of empathy when someone is hurting. Take some time and think about the upside and downside of your strengths and weaknesses.

For my friend the weakness that he named made him think that people saw him as weak and ineffectual. The reality is that in his particular career he is able to listen to people from a special place and help them. And that is because he has a unique perspective about people’s pain. We all have things in our personality that we think are weaknesses. Today I want to challenge you to think about your weakness as a strength. You are a uniquely created person. Embrace who you are. ALL of you.

If you need help, a Communication coach can help you identify your strengths and create a plan to move forward. Whether you are local or on the other side of the world I am here to help. If you need a life coach, please do not hesitate to contact me at StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com. Have a great day and don’t forget: Life is a journey, not a destination!

It’s Time for the 3 R’s

As we get ready for the weekend to begin I think it is a great time to think about the 3 “R’s” to kickstart your weekend.

RESET – The weekend is a great way to reset your life. Not only is it the  beginning of a new week but it can also be the beginning of making positive changes in your life. Things been tough at work? Not happy with some of your relationship? Hit the reset button and face the new week with a fresh positive attitude. Today, you can change the way you deal with every aspect in your life and put it back on a positive track. You are the only one who has full control of your life. Use that power toRESET your life and move forward today by making positive interior changes.

 

Symbol of scales is made of stones on the cliff

REALIGN – Have you felt like your life has been out of balance? Are you burning the candle from both ends? Have you been eating too much of the wrong foods? If you have ever driven a car whose tires are out of alignment you know that eventually your tires will wear down and go flat. Today is a great day to realign your life and start living a more balanced existence. Take a few moments and think about your life and create a plan to realign your life to lower stress and bring some balance back. Life is about balance. Take some time to REALIGN yourself.
REINVEST – Have you been feeling stuck? Do you feel you are not fully engaged in your life? Feeling pretty low about yourself? You are your most important asset and it may be time to reinvest in yourself. When we think about investing we tend to think about financial things, but in reality the most important investment you can make is in yourself. For some of us that may be going back to school, for others it may be learning something fun and for others it may be taking to the time to do something you love. Some of us just to reengage in our current situation. Some of us need to celebrate the great things in our lives instead of focusing on the tough stuff.  If you don’t REINVEST in yourself who will?

As you begin this weekend I want you to take a few minutes to think about the 3 “R’s”: Reset, Realign, Reinvest. You have the power to make the positive changes that will help you become the best you possible. And honestly, the world needs the best you. So take the 3 “R’s” and run with them. Today is a whole new day. I look forward to hearing about your “R’s”.
Don’t forget I am here to journey with you. I am just an email, phone call or Skype away. A life coach may be one of the best investments you can make in yourself. You can follow me on Twitter and Instagram or you can email me at StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com

Have a great day and don’t forget: Life is a journey, not a destination!

4 Keys to Effective Communication

A couple of times this week I was struck by the fact that communication is so important.  I actually knew that since I do a lot of communicating each day, but this week there were a couple of occasions that I realized that I had not really communicated well with people I am in relationship with and that I had assumed that people understood where I was coming from without being told.  That of course led to some misunderstandings and some explaining.  The details aren’t really important.  The lesson is:It is important that we communicate well in all our interactions with family, friends and everyone around us.

There are 4 Keys to Effective Communication.

1. Communicate Clearly – Make sure that when you communicate that you are doing it in a clear way.   Know what you want to communicate beforehand and be sure that you speak without beating around the bush.  A good way to know if you are communicating clearly is to ask questions about what you just said.
2. Communicate Concisely – Many times people spend a lot of time talking around the point because they either want to lighten what you are about to say or they are avoiding the subject.  Being concise about what you are trying to communicate.
3. Communicate Honestly – Because many people are afraid of confrontations they may not be fully honest about how they are feeling or what they want to say.   My experience is that the truth will eventually come out so it is better to be honest right up front.
4. Communicate Sincerely – Beside being honest you should be sincere when you communicate.   Let the person you are speaking to know that you care and them, their feelings and the situation.

One last thing: it is important to not assume that others either know what is going on or that you have communicated well.  As a Couples Communication Coach, I often see that problems arise from people not communicating well with each other or assuming that the other person has understood what was being communicated.   I have often heard people say “I just assumed you understood that I felt that way.”  Don’t assume anything.  Even if you have known someone a long time you need to take the time to communicate clearly, concisely, honestly and sincerely.

So this week’s life lesson is pretty simple: Communication is key to all good relationships.  It is important that we all the 4 keys to ensure healthy, lasting relationships.

If you have questions about your relationships or you need someone to help you to learn how to communicate better in your relationship please contact me and I can put you on the path to creating a healthy, happy relationship.

And don’t forget: Life is a journey, not a destination!

Stephen Halpin has been using his skills as a couples coach for many years and has been in private practice for the past three years.   He is available for one on one or couples sessions.   He is also available to come to your organization and talk about such topics as Tough Conversations, Creating a Vision and Creating a Life of Wholeness.   For more information you can contact Stephen at: StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com

Making Time

I have to admit that I like my alone time. There are times when my wife goes away for several days and I love the idea that I will have the house to myself and can do whatever I want to do without anyone being around. That usually means reading, television and eating a steak, but it is wonderful not to have to have to worry about another person. In fact, I sleep in the middle of the bed and I love it. About 3 days into being alone I really start to get antsy. I realize that I hate being alone and more importantly I miss my wife. It gets worse as the week goes on. I can’t wait for her to get home. Besides the fact that I love her to death, I think one of the reasons is because we are pretty intentional about making time for us throughout the week and I miss connecting with her when she isn’t here.

Earlier this week I listed 8 hallmarks of a good relationship and the common threads that make them successful. Whenever I speak to a potential client they always say the same thing: I am feeling stuck in my life…and oh, yeah, my relationships are a mess. Relationships have a way of affecting many areas of our lives. Today I want to stress the importance of making time for the important relationships in your life. Again, this will apply to most of your relationships including your love relationship, family and friends. Here are some things that may help you:

• Make an appointment: I have spoken several times about the need to make an appointment with yourself. This is also true for important relationships. My wife and I set aside Saturday mornings as our time to catch up and spend time together. We have a regular breakfast thing we do and we try not to let anything interfere. I do the same thing with important friendships. I have several friends that I have a standing appointment with. We take the time to catch up, share our lives and give each other advice.

• Being Present: A true story – I was sitting in a booth having lunch with a great friend. My phone goes off several times and I say I’m sorry and take a couple of the calls. Towards the end of the lunch my friend says to me “I love you and I love having lunch, but I won’t do this again.” When I push for a reason he tells me that by answering my phone it makes him realize that he is not that important and I am not present anyway. When I go to defend myself he tells me something that changes my life. He says: “Despite what you may think, you are not THAT important that any phone call can’t wait until after lunch. You are not the President or a Dr.  There is nothing happening that won’t wait an hour.” I apologize and we continue to meet for lunch on a weekly basis. I always turn my phone off when we meet. By the way, kids pick up this very easily. ALWAYS be present for your kids!!!

• Misplaced Importance: I was talking to a gentlemen in his late 60’s the other day and he was dismayed that his children seemed to have no time for him. As we talked about the reasons we talked about the years that his children were growing up and how he worked a lot of hours building a business. Now many years later the business is gone and though he may be comfortable financially, he is feeling alone. Giving your all to your career or hobbies is not a bad thing, but don’t misplace their importance. At the end of the day your relationships are the only things will be your most important legacy. At some point a career will end, but your relationships will still be around.

• Small Things Count: We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day in our house. When I tell people that they are surprised. The reason, I explain, is that I bring my wife flowers all the time. Why? Because I know she loves them and I love her. There are very few weeks that I don’t bring home flowers, her favorite candy or a card. Just this past week I grabbed some construction paper and made her a flower. It was pretty crude looking. On the flower I put a note that said: “You deserved a flower today but I couldn’t get out to get one for you, so I made this one you instead. I love you!” She loved it. It is the little things that count. I call friends on their birthday or send them messages when I think of them or I know that something big was going on for them during the day. It says that I am thinking of them and they matter. Small things count.

• Dads Day Out: Life is busy and sometimes you lose your focus. I used to do this thing called Dads Day Out with my kids…actually one kid at a time. I would block out time on my calendar and one of my children and I would go do something that they would find fun. I didn’t answer calls or do anything other than give that child my undivided attention while we were together. They loved it as kids and they still talk about it. And by the way…I still do it now even they are adults.

As you can see it is important to make time for your relationships. Sometimes it may be extended time and other times just small things to let your relationships know that you care. Take some time today to make time for your relationships.

And don’t forget: Life is a journey, not a destination!

Stephen Halpin has been using his skills as a couples coach for many years and has been in private practice for the past three years.   He is available for one on one or couples sessions.   He is also available to come to your organization and talk about such topics as Tough Conversations, Creating a Vision and Creating a Life of Wholeness.  For more information you can contact Stephen at: StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com

Have a Plan!!

Have a plan!

Have a plan!!

Have a plan!!!

If I had a dollar for every time I told someone that the key to succeeding in your life, or reaching your goals, or not making the same mistakes over and over is having a plan, I could retire.  One of the things I preach over and over with clients is the importance of creating a plan and then following the plan.  You wouldn’t go into battle without a plan, you would be angry with a professor who didn’t give you a syllabus and you wouldn’t be happy if your financial planner told you that they were making up as they go along how to grow your retirement money.   So why then is it that so many of us don’t take the time to create a plan for the important things in our life?

Today I want to talk about what goes into making a good plan.   My hopes that be giving these tools you will be able to create a workable plan in most areas of your life.

1. Have a starting point and a final goal –  Take some time and take a long, hard, realistic look at where you currently are and where you hope to get to.   Most people fail in their plan because they haven’t taken the time to understand the realities of their current situation or being realistic of the final goal.
2. Work backwards from the goal –  Think of this as sort of reverse engineering.    The tendency is to start at the beginning an work forward.  I suggest that you do the opposite and start from your goal and work your way backwards through all the steps to the beginning.  This helps make the goal seem more attainable and it will help you see the possible bumps along the way that you may encounter.
3. Be detailed oriented – The old statement “The devil is in the details” is most certainly true.    When I say be detailed oriented I mean very, very detailed oriented.  For instance: saying I will get a job is not good enough.   You need to decide what job, how much you will need to make, what kind of hours you can work, when you can work, what industries you are willing or not willing to work in.   By going through the details now it will be easier to make decisions as you are working your plan
4. Leave space for things you missed – I always tell clients to leave actual spaces on their plan (gaps if you will) for things that you just missed along the way.   It is not unusual to get far into a plan and either realize that you forgot an important step or you didn’t plan for something.   By leaving space you will be able to go into the plan and easily add things without feeling you messed the whole thing up.
5. Be open to adjustments – It is not unusual to be working your plan and you find a door that is closed or something unexpected requires a small detour.   Plans need to be followed but we all know that nothing is ever perfect.   The plan is a detailed guide but you WILL have to adjust on occasion.
6. Be prepared for mini-plans – You are going along and following your plan and all of a sudden the car dies a painful death.  Instead of throwing up your hands in defeat you can create a mini-plan on how you can work around this hiccup.
7. Enjoy the journey/Celebrate the victories – This is an important part of living out a successful plan.  Each day of the plan is an important part of the journey.  Try to enjoy the ride…even the tough days.   And then celebrate the victories and milestones along the way.    This will help you move forward, even on days that are tough.

By taking the time to create a well crafted plan, you are three steps ahead of most people who are going through life.    If you are having a problem creating a plan or even getting started, I can help.    Helping people create plans is what I do.  Do not hesitate to reach out and we can discuss how I can help you create a plan for your life.   Have a great day and don’t forget: “Life is a journey, not a destination!”

Stephen Halpin is a certified Life Coach with over 15 years of experience in helping people discover their fullest potential.  Stephen has helped his clients chart a path for success in their careers, understand their talents and develop a plan of action to move forward in their lives.  Stephen is a proud member of the International Association of Professional Life Coaches and the North American Life Coach Association.

 

Aging Parents and the Plan

 

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I have been talking a lot lately to folks who are dealing with the issue of parents who are aging and are facing the challenges that aging brings.   The discussions have ranged from taking away the car keys, home care and family dynamics when deciding on options for parents.  In each case the person has shared their deep concern of doing the right thing while making difficult decisions.   My answer to each of these questions has been the importance of creating a plan about how to move forward.    Today I want to share some ideas on how to create a workable plan that will make these decisions easier when the time comes.  The worst time to make decisions is while in a crisis so it is important to create a plan when there is no pressure.  Here is how to start:

• “What ifs” – One of the best ways to get everyone on the same page is to ask the “what if” questions.   I suggest that you do this with both your parents (“What if you were unable to drive anymore?”) to your siblings (“What if mom couldn’t live on her own anymore?”).   By asking these questions over time you will learn what everyone wants and needs when the time comes to make some difficult decisions.

 

• Get the paperwork in order –  If you have ever tried to gather paperwork while someone is in the hospital you will appreciate this step.  For instance: people are always surprised when I tell them that if your parent cannot speak for themselves you can’t do simple things like turn off a parents phone or cable without a power of attorney. Everyone needs to have the following things on file:
  • A will
  • Power of Attorney
  • Do Not Resuscitate – if that is their wish
  • File of important papers such as insurance cards, bank accounts, any pre-arranged funeral plans, etc

 

• Be honest, sensitive and will to compromise – While going through the process of creating a plan everyone needs to be honest about their feelings and sensitive to other peoples feelings.   It is helpful to know exactly what your parent’s wishes are under certain circumstances.   It is also important for siblings to have conversations about how best to approach those wishes.  Let’s be honest…when it comes to our parents we can all feel a little emotional and have strong feelings on what the right things are.  However, unless you are an only child you need to take everyone’s feelings into account.  Many families never recover from fights that arise from making hard decisions about parents.  The best thing to do is be honest about how you feel, listen to other peoples thoughts and feelings and then make some decisions.

 

• Write it down – Think of this as a game plan for an emergency.  Write down what everyone has agreed to, who is responsible for what, what your parents wishes are and how you are going to approach the crisis.   Make sure everyone has a copy of the plan including photocopies of important papers.  Remember that the hospital, nursing home, rehab center will most likely ask for the originals.

There are very few weeks when I don’t meet someone that once I share about my work with families and aging parenting they will begin sharing their own personal story of the challenges they are currently facing.  Some people tell me that they can’t or don’t want to talk about these things.  My response is that almost everyone will have to face the reality of the challenges when a parents health begins to deteriorate and the decisions that come with that.  Many times we don’t get to choose the timing of these things and having a plan is the best way to make good decisions during a family crisis.

If you need to talk about how to create a plan, how to have difficult conversations with parent or siblings or just need a place to talk things through, a life coach is a safe place to have those conversations.   In my practice I help people make difficult decisions and create a workable plan on how to move forward under crisis.   Let me know if I can help.   You can reach my by email at StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com.

Don’t forget: Life is a journey, not a destination!

Tough Conversations – Part Two

Yesterday I shared some of the stories I have been hearing from families who have gone through a crisis with a parent and the divisions that it can cause in even the closest families.   Today I want to share some of my journey and how we dealt with some of the issues.  Then I Friday I will give you tips on how to have Tough Conversations in your own family.

Several years ago my mom took a fall.  Nothing overly serious but it did require her to stay in the hospital.  While in the hospital she developed an infection that increased the length of her stay in the hospital.  My mom was never the picture of health and her time in the hospital took a toll on her.   She was eventually transferred to a rehabilitation facility to help her get back on her feet.  She started to work hard to get back home but it proved more difficult than she thought.   Not long after being in the rehab facility she developed a terrible infection in her injured leg.  Unable to deal with the medical issue she was transferred to a facility that could offer rehab and a higher level of medical care.   It was very discouraging for my mom and dad.  My dad spent every day from early in the morning until after dinner with my mom.   After 5 months my mom finally was able to leave rehab and head home with the help of an electric wheelchair.   She was home 3 days when leaving a doctors office she ran the wheelchair off a curb which sent her back into the hospital and then rehab.   She was there for over 2 years before she passed away.  I think the final injury crushed her spirit and she just gave up.  My dad had never given up hope that my mom would come home and it hit him hard when she passed away.

During this time we learned a lot of about insurance, medicine, hospitals and rehab centers.  We also learned about how complicated the systems can be to maneuver and after my mom was gone my sister and I began having conversations that we titled “What Ifs?  They started slow and were never really planned out but we understood that our father, who was in his late 70’s at the time, would at some point possibly require more care then we could give.   My sister and I would talk about the many scenarios that could happen.  “What if dad can’t live at home anymore?” “What if he is no longer able to drive but is healthy?”  “What happens to the house?”  It was a conversation we had with just the two of us and never really shared with my dad.  Eventually we decided that we needed to include our dad in these conversations.  He had a will and a power of attorney but we had never really talked about what he wanted to do with his house and its contents if something happened.  This might sound a bit morbid but it really wasn’t.  We were always clear that our intent was to honor his wishes.    One of things we talked about with him was there anything in the house that he wanted a specific grandchild to have.  We weren’t talking expensive stuff but sentimental trinkets in the house.  For instance he wanted one grandson to have a signed baseball bat.  He remembered that my mom always wanted one of the granddaughters to have a certain figurine.   So over time we began marking things that were to go to specific people.   This became very important this summer when my father was rushed to the hospital and ended up on a nursing home.

What happens over the summer can fill several weeks of blogs but suffice it to say that when we had to make decisions about my fathers health, his house, his car and the stuff inside the house.  There was very little discussion and there was no arguing at all.  In fact, in the midst of a very difficult family time the least of our problems was worrying about what to do.  The nursing home commented that they had never met a family so easy to work with in a crisis.   You see the “What If’s” conversations had taken all of the guess work out of what to do.  My dad is doing fine and has adjusted to his new life in the nursing home.  He well taken care of and someone visits him daily.

Tomorrow I will share how to have some of those Tough Conversations and help you create a plan to make transitions like this easier.  More to come tomorrow.  Have a great day and don’t forget: Life is a journey, not a destination!

Stephen Halpin has been using his skills as a life coach for many years and has been in private practice for the past three years.   He is available for one on one sessions, family sessions and group sessions.   He is also available to come to your organization and talk about such topics as Tough Conversations, Creating a Vision and Creating a Life of Wholeness.   For more information you can contact Stephen at: StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com

 

Tough Conversations – Part One

I have begun giving seminars on having tough conversations.  In the context of these seminars I have been specifically be talking about family conversations concerning aging parents.  A lot of my talks come from the experiences I hear from my clients and from my own walk through this myself.   Let me share some of what I have heard recently:

• Caring for my mom is becoming a full time job and I have begun looking at places that can care for her but my brothers and sisters are battling with me.  None of them are local and they don’t have to deal with all the things that need to be done every day.  It is also destroying my marriage
• My family hasn’t spoken in three years after my sibling took over care for my dad because of the decisions she has made as the holder of a power of attorney for my dad.   We used to be very close and now no one talks at all.
• My brother and sister haven’t spoken for seven years after they fought over some silly item that each of them wanted after my mom died.
• I came back from running errands and found that family members had gone through my moms jewelry without asking me.  I am angry and hurt.

I could go on and on.   There have been very few weeks when I don’t met someone who has a similar story of siblings or relatives that can’t agree on how to deal with the issues of elder care.   Some of the stories are truly terrible and the amount of pain and hurt can be seen on the tellers face.  There are some common threads in all of these stories.  Today I will share those threads and tomorrow I will talk about how to create a plan so that you can avoid some of these problems:

Common Threads That Lead to Family Issues

• Family Dynamic History – Many times the same issues between siblings from their childhood will reappear in their adulthood when a stressor occurs.  Your place in your family has a definite affect on how you many deal with things in the future.  One person told me that despite the fact that the oldest brother hasn’t seen his mom in 5 years; when an emergency arose he swept in and took over and started making decisions.   In his wake he left a lot of people hurt and angry.
• Who Is In Charge? – Many times there is one child who has become responsible for a parents care.  Sometimes it is because they are they live close or with the parent, it may be that they have the time available and other times it is because they are the only one willing to do it.  This is well and good until something happens and then everyone feels that they should have an equal say in decisions.
• Legal Stuff – Every lawyer and financial adviser tells me that it is important that everyone have a will and a power of attorney.  It seem pretty obvious that those two things should be in place but you would be surprised at how many times I hear about the choice of who holds the power of attorney or the decisions that are being made without input from other members of the family.
• Silence – One of the biggest issues I see over and over again are the issues I see from silence between family members.  Here is what I mean by silence:  wills that are secret (“We don’t talk about those things”), no discussion about how to deal with issues before they happen (“What do you mean you want to put mom in a nursing home?), lack of discussion of wants and needs (“Dad always said I could have those baseball cards!).

Whenever you deal with family dynamics you are dealing with a lot of underlying issues that come bubbling to the top and when family decisions are made in the middle of an emergency many of the issues are magnified under the pressure.   Tomorrow I will share a little of my story and how best to have these tough conversations so that everyone can have input and emotions are not running high.  Have a great day and don’t forget: Life is a journey, not a destination!

Stephen Halpin has been using his skills as a life coach for many years and has been in private practice for the past three years.   He is available for one on one sessions, family sessions and group sessions.   He is also available to come to your organization and talk about such topics as Tough Conversations, Creating a Vision and Creating a Life of Wholeness.   For more information you can contact Stephen at: StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com

 

I Am A Life Coach

Over the past couple of days I have been sharing parts of my journey and how they have brought me to the place that I became a Life Coach.   They may have seemed rather random  but I also think they told a little more than a normal bio can.  Today I want to talk about why I am a life coach, what I do as a life coach and how I can help you grow into the person you want to be.

As I went back and read the last 2 days of blogs I thought to myself “Wow, that is a lot of stuff.”  You may ask how does all this add up to becoming a life coach?   Great question.  As I look back the one constant in my journey has been that I have wanted to help empower people to reach their goals, do better, be better and be content in their lives.  Whether it was in my business dealings, ministry or working with the less fortunate I have had a desire to help people make their lives better.  The experiences in my life have given me a unique perspective and the ability to help people figure out what their hearts desire is, unlock their potential, create a plan and then hold them accountable to that plan.  Most of all I want the people I work with to succeed in whatever part of their life we are working on together.  Whether it is career related, relationships or just getting your life in order; I am passionate about helping my clients reach their goals.  That is what drives me as a life coach.

Many people ask me what a life coach does?   That is a great question.  A life coach is not a therapist.  A therapist is a professional that can help you get to the root cause of a persons problems.  As a life coach my job is different.  My job is to help you identify a place in your life that you want to make changes.  Motivate you to make those changes by creating a plan of action that includes reflection, homework and action on your part and then hold you accountable to the plan we have created.  In short a life coach is a problem solver, motivator and an accountability partner.  A good life coach doesn’t tell you what you should do but helps you discover what it is you want and then help you find a path to get there.

When a person comes to talk to me these are the things I most often hear: “I feel stuck in my life!”  “I can never stick to anything!” “There are so many choices…so I don’t make one!” “I am afraid to make a mistake!” “Why do I keep dating losers?”  “I feel like I am in career hell!”  Just this week I spoke to someone who kept saying that they felt lost and that their life is a mess.  As a life coach we will identify what is going on and then make a plan to get you back on track.  At the end of the day though it requires that the person follow through on our plan.  So that is where accountability comes in.

So…if you are feeling like you need to put your life on a different path.  Or you just need a life tune up; it may just be that you may want to talk to a life coach.   I would like to be that life coach.   I am here because I want to help.  So whether you are local or on the other side of the world,  there are options for us to speak.   If you would like to talk and see what we can do together please contact me.   StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com

Have a great day and don’t forget: Life is a journey, not a destination!

Who Am I and Why Am I a Life Coach

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Have you ever played a sport?  If you have you remember that person who taught you skills, encouraged you to push harder, gave you important feedback, made you practice and stood on the sideline to cheer your success.  You could describe a life coach in those same terms. A Life Coach is someone who can come along side you and help you by Offering Accountability, Motivate, Problem Solve, Help Break Habits, Inspire and Offer Support. We also get to stand on the sidelines and be a cheerleader when you have success and be encouraging when you sometimes miss the goal. It is an exciting profession and I am very blessed and humbled to get to do it everyday.

If you read through my website you will get a lot of information on what a life coach is, the services I offer and a little bit about me. But no website can tell you everything you need to know about a person. So over the next 3 days I want to share a little about who I am, give you some of my history and share some of the things I am passionate about. If you follow along I can assure you that you will know a lot more about me and why I am a great Life Coach. And at the end of the day my hope is that if you ever need a Life Coach you will think of me. So here we go:

• I was born in Staten Island, New York.   That makes me a New York City guy.  It was a great place to grow up.  As a New Yorker I know about city living, pizza, grabbing a taxi, using the subway, Coney Island and the NY Mets.   I also know a lot about Broadway (more of that soon).  But the best thing about growing up in NYC is that I can be very direct sometimes.  While my life coaching training talks a lot about just asking questions, sometimes the New Yorker in me comes out and I can be very direct about what I hear you saying about your life.  I know that sometimes the best help you can offer a person is being direct.
• I met my wife doing a play together and it was actually love at first sight.  Really!!!   I saw her sitting across the room and I turned to a friend and said “I am going to marry that girl.”   4 weeks later we were engaged and have been married 35 years.   Kind of amazing.  After 35 years I know a little something about relationships.
• I spent several weeks in the jungles of Costa Rica.  It took 2 hours to get there by boat.  It was hard to sleep at night because of the monkeys screaming and the bats flying over head.  The only way to shower was to collect rain water (it rained constantly…hence the name rain forest) and then punch holes in a bag to use as a shower.  It was kind of a rude awakening for a guy who hated camping and liked to stay in nice hotels.   It also profoundly changed my life.   I know about stepping out of your comfort zone.
• I have 3 degrees.   One from the College of Staten Island, one from Louisiana State University and one from the University of Central Florida.  I have studied zoology, theater, psychology, religion and sociology.   An interesting group of areas of study.  I know what it is to chase your passions and try to take the many different aspects of your life and turn them into something amazing.
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  While living in Louisiana I volunteered for an organization that supported people who were dying of AIDS during the last months of their lives.   I became friends with and then sat with men and woman during the last moments of their lives so that they would not be alone.   A moving and humbling experience that was an honor to be a part of.  I know what it means to have your life changed by helping others.
• I ran a mission organization that brought me to Honduras a lot.  There we built schools, worked on houses and spent time sponsoring children so that they could go to high school.  One of our programs allowed teens from the inner city to come to Honduras and work with the poor.  It was a life changing experience for them.  One of the things I learned in Honduras that your wants and needs are all a matter of perspective.I have been in 2 earthquakes.  It is odd to see the ground rolling towards you and then have your feet come out from under you while building swayed.  It was a very scary experience and one of the things I learned is that we are never really in control.
• • 8 Years ago I started a community theater.   The theater lets actors and crafts people who have careers in other fields an opportunity to do something they love but can’t make a living at.   Every show we do has a social conscious aspect to it so we donate our time and money to causes that line up with each production.  I know that it is important to give back to your community.
• I spent 15 years working with families and teens in ministry.  During that time I spoke to a lot of people trying to get their lives in order.  I talked to people looking for a purpose and I talked to families in turmoil.  My time serving in ministry gave me great insight into people and family dynamics.
• I worked for Walt Disney World for 10 years and was involved in training.  I spent a brief 2 years on an Imagineering team and I opened 2 of the theme parks.   My experience with Disney was amazing and let me meet people from all over the world.  Also, I learned a lot working with 200-300 Cast Members who looked for me for guidance.
• Those are just a few more facts that have combined to make me the person I am today.  I think one of the reasons my clients are successful is because I bring to the discussion a wide range of experiences and insights.  Tomorrow I will share some more about my life and talk about why a life coach can really help you to define your goals, set a plan and be held accountable.

  At the end of every post I always say: Life is a journey, not a destination!    As you can see I truly believe in that saying.   I want to help people discover their journey.

  

  If you are intrigued about my life coaching services why not reach out and let’s talk.   I can be reached by phone at (407)602-8511 or email at StephenLifeCoach@gmail.com